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RECOVERY FROM AND COPING WITH MDD, ANXIETY DISORDERS, CPTSD AND ADHD

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November 30, 2018 No Comments

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WRITER | BLOGGER | MENTALLY INTERESTING.

I'm Nixy, a writer, blogger, freelance photographer and mental health advocate from Ontario, Canada.

I have been writing as well as journaling for 21 years - since age 11. It was, and still is, my catharsis; my solace. Here I hope to share with you, the various ways I using writing to cope with mental illness (primarily anxiety, CPTSD + ADHD) and refusing to let any of those disorders interfere with my writing (as well as how to cope when they do try to interfere with writing).

You can find more about me here, or click one of the social media links above. Feel free to subscribe to this blog down below.

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    • MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER (MDD) (1)
    • SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER (SAD) (2)
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  • As you can see, I started back with my bujo after a long time away. My last entry in it is dated March 8, 2019. I didn’t do anything beyond that. A good majority of that is because of the one year deathiversary of a friend and how I was struggling with memories of how ”a year ago today I was visiting him in hospital” and how one day I’d recall reading to him from his favorite book or just memories of how his cancer was clearly pulling him closer to the end of his cancer battle. He died on March 31, 2018. The reason I came back to my bullet journal is that I needed to make notes for an appointment I had with school (as seen above) and decided I would need structure now that my schedule is changing. I’m not attending school in person anymore (update on that will be either on my private or my blog) so I won’t have those cues on Monday, Wednesday and Friday to remind me of which day of the week it is, what I need to get done etc. I also struggled with the art thief thing. The rest of this post is long so bear with me. Any part that doesn’t fit will be continued in the comments. - - - It’s been awhile. Having an art thief really takes it out of you, whether you’re someone who already deals with depression or not. After finding out what this person was doing and how far it went, I had been invited to a meeting of other creative minds via a friend of mine. I happened to mention what was going on since I was new, people were asking what I do besides writing and when I said art, they asked if they could see some. I hadn’t brought my sketchbook (it was left in the car) and I took a lot of it down from the internet at that point. That was when I mentioned what happened. I was given so much great feedback about how to deal with this going forward and some blunt responses I NEEDED to hear. I’m truly thankful to this group. I sat with this whole situation awhile and realised that it, coupled with a depressive episode semi-related to the one year deathiversary of a friend (whose death I’ve still not properly grieved) just killed any creativity that I had. So I reevaluated. I do art because I love it and it helps me with get out those (continued in comments)
  • One of my favourite things of starting a new @moleskine is filling this page out. I tend to decorate the inside of my #moleskine cover as well as the back envelope. I’ll post progress shots of both soon as I’m only just starting this journal. Back a few weeks ago, my favourite stationary store @staplescanada had a sale on Moleskine products so I was able to test out the softcover dot grid and as a long-time Moleskine user (since 1999, so 20 years!) I am loving it! My ideal notebook would have the GSM of a @leuchtturm1917 but with the @moleskine soft cover. Hint hint ;D #dailyjournal #moleskine #journal #coverart #journaldoodles #journalintropages #mentalhealthjournal
  • So I haven’t posted in awhile for a few reasons: February and March I absolutely abandoned my bullet journal. A lot of that has to do with depression and not giving a shit about keeping up with it. The things I needed to track, I’ve let go of. I don’t have much to track regarding school right now but I imagine that will change in a few months. Also, I just was forgetting to do it. I also had the depressive line of thinking that’s very much “why bother?” along with “who cares?” On top of that, as I had mentioned previously, I was starting to turn this account into a mix of showing off my bujo, showing off my art as well as my mixed-media journaling. Well the latter I paused because of depression crippling my creativity and then someone stole my art. A lot of my art. Not only did they steal and copy it verbatim, they also began selling prints, stickers, pins and patches on Etsy. Anyway, I’ve decided to tentatively post things and see what happens. If I keep finding my stuff being reposted/redone/profits being made off of it, I’ll lock down this account and just have to accept that I won’t be able to share things publicly, or stop posting on IG in general when it comes to art. I don’t want to have to do any of those but I’ve no other choice. Calling them out and asking them to stop isn’t going to stop them, as I explain in the comments. So I guess, read below. Also thank you guys for sticking around and as always, feel free to follow my public @n.ixy and you can request my private (listed below). I’m tentatively accepting people. In the comments, I’ll repeat what I said on my private/mental health IG (@s.kagboys) for those who don’t follow it:
  • Some of the practice doodles I’ve done the last two days. All pages are a WIP. The Sherlock Holmes-inspired pages are my favourites. I’ll be posting them in full once they’re complete. While I’m keeping a mixed media/art/junk journal, I’ve also been doing some doodling/drawing in an extra @leuchtturm1917 I have. I’ll do a highlight explaining each of my notebook and their uses later today so things are more organised. - - - - - #leuchtturm1917 #stationaryaddict #notebooktherapy #artjournal #pilotfrixionerasable #sketchbook
  • The paper is lovely. Since I won’t be using watercolour or paint I went with the @moleskine 165 gsm sketch. I couldn’t find a Leuchtturm1917 180 gsm sketch in stores but that’s fine. I’m excited to be working with the notebook that started my interest with mixed media/art/junk journaling. My interest started back in 2001 on the blogging website LiveJournal and I was part of two huge communities for mixed media journaling. The notebook everyone loved and relied on was the Moleskine and so I ended up saving my allowance to buy one. I was gifted one to write in and I ended up buying a blank one to art journal with. I still have it somewhere with 21 years of journals. I’m excited to start this again. I did a bit of mixed media in my bullet journal if you scroll down a bit and are curious about my plans here. Stay tuned 💙 - - - - - #moleskine #stationaryaddict #notebooktherapy #artjournal #junkjournal #mixedmediajournal
  • Spent a week researching mixed media paper types for hardcover notebooks to find the best art journal I could buy with what’s around locally and this is what I’ve settled on. The @moleskine has been my go-to notebook brand since 2001 when I bought my first softcover lined. I’ve written in them for years and also have used them for art journaling for years. I’m excited to be back art journaling (or, junk journaling, mixed media journaling, SMASH journaling - whatever you wish to call it) and I’m excited to be sharing my new journey with it here. - - - - - #moleskine #stationaryaddict #notebooktherapy #artjournal #junkjournal #mixedmediajournal
  • 2/3; Showing you how it ended up turning out. Apologies for my fan in the background. It might be -28°C but my room is over the boiler room (which heats the building) so it’s hot in here. - - - - - #notebooks #repurposingnotebooks #stationaryaddict #stationarylove #timelapse #leuchtturm1917 #papermatefrixion
  • 2/3; Showing you how it ended up turning out. Apologies for my fan in the background. It might be -28°C but my room is over the boiler room (which heats the building) so it’s hot in here. - - - - - #notebooks #repurposingnotebooks #stationaryaddict #stationarylove #timelapse #leuchtturm1917 #papermatefrixion
  • 1/3; Showing you how it ended up turning out. Apologies for my fan in the background. It might be -28°C but my room is over the boiler room (which heats the building) so it’s hot in here. - - - - - #notebooks #repurposingnotebooks #stationaryaddict #stationarylove #timelapse #leuchtturm1917 #papermatefrixion

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